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Fair Fighting Rules for Couples

author unknown :: Nov 26, 2007 ::

 

 

  1. No Name Calling.

 

  1. No violence.

 

  1. No fighting for longer than 15 minutes. If discussion lasts for longer then 15 minutes, it is not going to be resolved. Reschedule for another day and time.

 

  1. Don't say never, always or you.

 

  1. Say I feel, I need, I want, when I hear you say...I think or feel.

 

  1. Don't go to bed angry.

 

  1. Don't just say "I'm sorry"; include "please forgive me".

 

  1. Use percentages to express how much each person wants to go to different activities, movies; for example, "I want to got to Taco Bell 10%" means it really doesn't matter. "I want to go 90%" means it matters a lot to you. (You need to be honest...don't say I want... 100% all the time).

 

  1. Do not argue when hungry, angry, tired, or late at night.

 

  1. Discuss only one topic at a time. It is not helpful to bring up old problems at the same time as discussing new problems.

 

  1. Talk about how you feel hurt and why; anger is a secondary emotion.

 

  1. Each partner needs to take no more than 50% of the responsibility for the communication problem. A relationship is a mutual agreement between 2 people and it does not come easily, it takes practice, work, and time.